A weekend trip to who I used to be

It has been awhile since I posted anything. This is due in large part to the fact that my life has been smooth sailing of late. No man drama to muck things up. It's nice, peaceful even. I took a little trip last weekend to visit college friends and it was actually rather enlightening. I realized it isn't a relationship per se that I am looking for, what I really want is someone (or many ones) to do things with! I am living in a little island called central California that has no apparent barriers to the outside world, but somehow manages to keep me rather isolated. Since I moved here I have felt separated from my college friends and they all still live relatively close to one another, so basically everyone still hangs out all the time except me. And it has been really difficult to establish a new group of friends since I moved here. The friends I have found have led me to try new things, which is great, but I miss my old group of friends and all the things we had in common. I think I was hoping to find that one magic person who could be my built in buddy and join me in all the things I want to do. It wasn't until I was sitting in a gorgeous park on Sunday morning taking in the sunshine, a good cup of coffee, and a great conversation that I realized I would be perfectly happy being single if I had friends around to DO things with. My loneliness isn't a lack of intimacy, it is a lack of companionship. It may not seem that earth shattering of a realization, but it was to me. Reconnecting with friends is something within my abilities. I can plan trips, make more of an effort to stay in touch, and leave this little central Cal island more often. I want to enjoy this time I have while I am young and unattached and can make decisions based on myself alone. I should be reveling in my single status, not loathing it, and all it would take for that to happen are some weekend adventures with a few crazy friends of mine. Truth be told, I don't think I am ready for something serious with anyone. I want to have more fun before I have to think about how what I do affects someone else all the time. For the past few years here I have felt like Smee, walking around with a clock-ticking crocodile in my wake, reminding me I am running out of time to find someone. I am too young for that, and I haven't done nearly enough of the things I want to. Isn't it funny how one conversation can totally change your perspective? It is certainly nice to rid myself of the tick-tock crocodile so I can just enjoy what is happening in the moment rather than stress out about what the future holds for me. Short vacations and some good conversation really can be therapeutic for the soul! And sometimes you have to leave a place to realize the effect its having on you. It was nice to leave home and go back to my old stomping grounds to rediscover a piece of me that has been hiding out for awhile: college me. I am trying to hold on to it for as long as possible, while still maintaining all the positive changes I have undergone since graduation. There's something to be said for being around people who really know you, and love you anyway. That's definitely something I have missed.