You really got a hold on me

Let's review my last year of dating history, just for s@#%& and giggles (that phrase has always seemed so silly to me!). First, I dated a guy who decided to leave civilization and go camping in the woods doing manual labor for six months in order to save the earth. As if that wasn't weird enough, I decided to keep dating him during this time, even though we had only been seeing each other for four months before his six month departure. Yeah, great plan! We could only communicate via handwritten letters with a two week delay. If that doesn't sound that bad to you, consider all the technology we have today that allows for instantaneous communication, and then imagine going back to the dating rituals of 1942. Not so good. Then, I met a fellow who MY oh MY, I fell absolutely head over heels for. First love status. Indescribable. Then, I found out I was only his girl on the side. What does it say about me that I waited 26 years to fall in love, and then I fell in love with someone who only thought of me as someone for fun, for right now, not someone for real? Let's not dwell on the implications of that sad little bit of reality. The next guy I dated I met through work. He was my mentor (I know, that should have been clue number one, right? Boundary issues!). He wore no wedding ring, he asked me out, he hung out with me in front of his friends, he kissed me good-night the first time we hung out, he would text message me ridiculous things at all hours of the day and night...and then I found out he was married. The crazy thing is that when I called him out on it he somehow managed to turn it back around on me like I was being overly dramatic. WOW. Now reinsert boy from the woods, freshly returned from the woods, and acting like a real piece of work. There was a fair amount of dating drama with him, centered around him being a machismo a-hole. Then, he had a psychotic break and now is, I'm fairly certain, schizophrenic. And I don't say this lightly. I have an undergraduate degree in psychology and I have experience in mental health nursing. It truly saddens me that Mr. In-the-woods is in this situation, but boy can I pick them! Then, a random boy from the past pops up out of nowhere and wants to hang out. He is fresh out of an over five year relationship, and who does he decide to call first? That's right, me. After a few months of texting with nothing more than a little flirtation, I blow it off and think nothing more of it. Then after a few more months, we finally hang out. This boy is sweet, and gentlemanly, and very cute. Annnnnd, I find out over a lunch date, is the father of a six year old (he is 25). While this shouldn't be a deal breaker necessarily, when he said it my immediate thought was, "of COURSE you have a kid, there has to be something majorly wrong with you in order for you to be interested in me." So that brings us to today, mere days before Valentine's Day, and I am thinking Cupid either has an evil sense of humor, or I have committed a grievous sin against him and oh what vengeance he seeks! I hate to say it, but this may be the very first Valentine's day that I have truly lost all belief in love. Let me add an asterisk to that statement, I have not lost all belief in LOVE...I have lost all belief in my ability to find true romantic love for MYSELF. Thank goodness I have so many wonderful friends and family to love, or I might feel despondent on this joyously love-filled holiday. To everyone who has loved and supported me, I thank you. It truly means the world to me! As for dating, I think the best course of action right now is DON'T DO IT!!!!